Stalkers and Abuse – Part 1

I was talking about stalkers with someone yesterday. It got me thinking. We hear game developers whine about abuse a lot. And it’s an issue, and it shouldn’t be happening.

But it got me thinking.. a lot of public facing jobs have problems with abuse. Whenever you go to the post office, or the hospital, or the bank, they’ve all got signs up saying “please don’t abuse our staff”. Those signs obviously exist for a reason. They obviously had enough abuse to warrant the creation of a sign to make people think.

So this abuse isn’t unique to Game Development. It’s much easier to abuse someone over the internet. It probably also doesn’t help that the internet is a haven for shut ins and social rejects.

I’ve had a major stalker for a while. You might remember him. His name is Andrew. So far this year he’s emailed me over 1,500 times.

The first ever email I got from Andrew was in 2007. It was a normal enough, friendly email.

Date: Sat, Mar 10, 2007 at 8:35 AM
Subject: None

Hi Garry, great site and spectacularly kewl mod, am totally addicted. :)

Have a few suggestions for the downloads site, was wondering; could you add a “Submit” or “Search” button next to the text field on the home page? Could make life easier for people browsing from certain devices like mobiles (or at least this one). Additionally, would it be possible to display a much longer list of “Latest” and “Popular” downloads? Perhaps you could have a More link at the bottom of each….

Anyway, keep up the good work. :)

Regards,
Andy.

Over time his emails got more and more regular. The subjects varied, but they were mostly centered around Garry’s Mod, bug reports, suggestions. When I didn’t reply he got angry. He started commenting on my blog. Another commenter started to imitate him. He got angry. He blamed me. He posted a bunch of angry crap in the comments and I banned him. For some reason he got really angry that I had an iPhone.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 4:06 AM
subject:

Interesting how that first fake post came essentially immediately after my “heroin” post. Also interesting how it says “Mom” and not Mum i.e. something that you say. Maybe you didn’t like my post the previous day about the robot dog (it’s not my fault you’re so behind the times). Also interesting how I’m blocked from your blog now (essentially at the same time as my heroin post and the fake posts back).

Conclusion: You’re making the fake posts and blocked me because you couldn’t take the Heroin remark as a joke (and because my robot dog response made you look uninformed as did my comments about the iPhone before Xmas – but who’s struggling with their iPhone now? Hate to say it, but I told you so). Anyway, I have multiple IPs, so if I really wanted to post, you can’t do anything about it.

Also, I’ve probably contributed more good ideas to you than anyone else has ever done with regards to GMod, but you apparently can’t deal with the idea of not already having all the answers and so reply with stupid sarcastic comments to emails. “Garry, please fix this….[elaborate message describing the problem]”……1 line reply: “It not broke”. I’ve been trying to report bugs and things you could improve for many months and it’s always the same crap.

Additionally, if one of us “can’t interact properly with society” the overwhelming evidence is that it’s you buddy. You’re the one who’s hated by tens of thousands of people despite having a great product (not by me though, I personally feel sorry for you), you’re the one who gets insulted behind his back and has transcripts of his IRC conversations posted on the web so people can see how bad your attitude is, you’re the one who has no life other than playing games and coding (usually adding features that no-one asked for like finger-posing improvements FFS – ever heard of market-led approach to business i.e. giving customers stuff they request like fixing the pulley BS that people have been talking about since 2005).

As for living with my “Mom” as you say, I left home many years before you and have my own place – it takes on your place and wins. How many bedrooms you got? 1? LMAO. What town? Walsall? ROFL! Your joined kitchen and living room? Nice, but smaller than mine. Anyway, you really need to grow up garry before it’s too late, stop being such an immature asshole.

Not replying to them made him angry.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 4:33 AM
subject: Projection

You’re an arrogant little man who’s going to undermine a potentially very bright future all because of a pathetic, needless character flaw that sees you senselessly provoking everyone you deal with. What a terrible waste.
Why do you do it? Is it somekind of personal insecurity? Is it to do with being a virgin still?

It’s also very interesting how in both your fake blog posts that are in my name, you have me saying “everyone you suck dick!” or words to that effect. Interesting, because in the field of psychology, that is what is known as “projection” i.e. you’re accusing others of doing precisely what it is you do yourself. You’re a classic misanthrope (with virtually unlimited evidence to support that assertion), yet explicitly accuse me of being anti-social and put misanthropic words in my mouth. Fascinating.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 5:05 AM
subject: New Car

LMAO what a poof! So typical you’d buy something lame, AGAIN.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 5:23 AM
subject: You’re intelligence

You’re so fucking clever you 1) Go round making enemies of everyone you can and 2) Put your address, well, now your folks address I guess, in your DNS records. 3) Ignore advice to remove the address from the record.

Sorry, how the fuck are you clever again???? I could go on listing your failings for hours, you’re a joke and it’s a shame that GMod was made by you because this means it’s inevitably not going to reach it’s full potential and consequently all the considerable effort made by the 3rd party scripters and the builders over the last few years will ultimately be underappreciated.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 5:41 AM
subject: Coward

Seems you’re also a coward, seeing as you can’t come out directly with your attempted insults on the blog using your own name, instead you have to masquerade as me. Why not insult me directly? Coward. Pussy. I’d love to meet you, so I could knock you out and watch you squirm and beg for mercy as you regained consciousness.

Around this time my Grandad died. I’d posted a blog about it, or tweeted about it.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 6:09 AM
subject: lol @ you crying like a big poof =)

Wave goodbye to your kiddy-fiddling Nazi-collaborating granddad, no doubt his spirit being bummed in Hell by demons as we speak while his body gets feasted upon by hungry maggots. LMAO he probably suffered as he died. They say people died peacefully in their sleep, but that’s BS meant to console the relatives. He most likely suffered. Experienced intense pain. LOL. Probably felt alone, and regretted all the stuff he’d not done and said, thinking, shit, I’m gonna die here all alone, on my own, sitting on the toilet, with this gay porno mag on my lap. LMAO. I guess that’s a deserved fate for someone who spent the period 1933 – 45 teabagging high-ranking Nazi party members in exchange for safe harbour from military service. Typical newman COWARD. Why fight for his country when he could suck goerring’s testicles like the gay little fart that he was. Just like you’re turning out to be. Poor little garry crying like a big poof. You probably weren’t crying at all, but indeed consuming Heroin, hence your bizarre reaction. I inadvertently struck a nerve. Damn smack rat.

This should have upset me, it should have made me angry, but it didn’t. I think for two reasons. Firstly I was amazed that someone could even say something like this to someone who had just lost a loved one, no matter what they’d done. Secondly, he was obviously goading me, looking for a reaction. So I just ignored it, like the rest of his crap.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 7:52 AM
subject: spewman

My Mum (or should that be Mom?) saw your pics the other day and said you were ugly LMAO. Poor ol’ garry spewman. Anyway, ban away, like the pussy you are. Can’t debate the facts, but just silence your critics by banning or blocking.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 11:02 AM
subject: Advice

Write a will now. Leave all your assets to your family, charity or whatever because you may not be in a position to enjoy them for much longer.

PS you fucking dumbass. Maybe in the next life you’ll think more carefully about pissing people off.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 11:52 AM
subject: Your schooldays

Let me guess newman; you were one of these little weedy kids that went around picking fights with all the bigger kids when you were at school. You didn’t have any particular reason to do it, but you just couldn’t help yourself, then they beat the living snot out of you……….or did you get to hid behind “mommy” and daddy? Only problem now newman, is that as an adult that option dissipates, you no longer have the option to hide behind them when you get to a certain age or fuck with certain people. If you really were so intelligent as you claim, you’d learn to get some diplomacy or some means to defend yourself if you insist on playing those dangerous games in your adult years. You really have no idea the ice that you are treading on. It’s not a threat, but a warning. You need to back down now and adopt a reasonable attitude before it’s too late for you and the ones you care about.

date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 12:27 PM
subject:

You think you’re immortal or something, somekind of untouchable just because you’ve sold a few thousand copies of GMod and made a few £? Maybe £200k? lol imbecile. You do realize that there are hundreds of thousands of people in the UK alone who are worth more than £1m? You aren’t such a big deal. Also, your disgusting attitude is going to cost you everything you’ve gained the last few years. You need to stop being such a dickhead before it’s too late.

This was kind of funny to me, so I posted a few of these emails on the forums. I’d like to believe that if I hadn’t posted the thread the abusive emails would have stopped, but I’ve tried that tactic since and it hasn’t worked.

date: Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 3:52 PM
subject: Phone

I just tried to phone you on 01922****** (obtained with Google – nothing sinister). I’m wondering if we should discuss this over the phone you see, not to argue, but to try and resolve this amicably like civilized human beings. This has gone far enough and is escalating very rapidly by the looks of things. Don’t you think we should call it quits now? Don’t allow your retaliation against me to become disproportionate, as I said, I do not get bullied these days.

Regards,
Andy.

date: Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 1:38 PM
subject: Harrassment / Legal Issues

Garry, I think you need to remove that thread from FPS, not just lock it, but actually remove it (this also applies to the fake blog posts that were done in my name – they are a form of identity theft). I don’t want this to escalate but I’m seriously starting to consider my legal options. I’m starting to get abusive messages from third parties due to it. The messages are appearing in my Youtube, on Wiremod, and it’s inevitable that they start appearing in my Hotmail eventually. I have also noticed some threatening remarks in the thread about abuse of my IP address.
These sites have absolutely nothing to do with the original disagreement and this wouldn’t be happening if you hadn’t have created the flame thread and left it active for so long, therefore you are guilty of harassment by proxy and I’m pretty sure you could encounter legal / commercial complications as a result. I am asking politely and respectfully that you remove this thread. I do not want to have to contact your hosting company, ISP, police or take other legal actions about this.

Regards,
Andrew.

At this point Andy realised that I wasn’t the one making blog comments in his name, and he apologised for his behaviour.

date: Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 6:51 PM
subject: Apology

Garry, I added 2 plus 2 plus 2, and got 7. I falsely accused you of making the posts in my name on your blog, for that and my grampa comments I sincerely apologize. I don’t expect forgiveness, my comments were very ugly, but I want you to know I acknowledge that I seriously screwed-up there. I’m also sorry that you may have felt intimidated by some of my comments (as I was by some of yours) they were not intended as threats and despite our differences I know if anything happened to you, it’d be a loss for GMod.
I don’t know why your blog wouldn’t let me post (making me think I was blocked and the dodgy number crunching), but regardless, the false posts were not yours and I’m sorry. I don’t expect my account back, and I don’t deserve it anyway.

Andy.

Obviously very nice of him to swallow his pride and admit he was wrong. But there’s some stuff that you can’t forgive. Ever. The stuff he said says a lot about his character, it’s stuff you wouldn’t say to your worst enemy.

After this he sent a few normal emails, suggestions for GMod, bug reports etc. But then he slid back into paranoia and negativity.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 12:12 AM
subject: Warning

I’ve just switched the auto-update thing off for GMod, but if anything suspicious does happen to my PC, and seems to be connected with Steam or GMod, I am going to assume you put somekind of trojan into the software to fuck me over and you will be held “responsible for your own actions”. I am willing to accept everything so far as Internet-only, but if you took that step, our disagreement would manifest into the physical world. Valve would get involved and I’d make sure you got an endless stream of negative publicity, in addition to many other things. You have been warned.

And then.. so much for that apology.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 4:19 AM
subject: Grandad

I do regret my comment about the Nazi stuff, it was below the belt, however, I have a new theory……he killed himself to get the fuck away from you and because of the terrible shame of having such an infantile piece of shit in his family. He could no longer deal with having to admit you were in any way connected with him.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 4:30 AM
subject: Suicide

Have you ever considered it? If not, perhaps it’s about time eh. You really do have no redeeming features whatsoever, the only people who come to your defence are a handful of mentally challenged 8 year olds and a pervert called verynicelady, the smart people want nothing to do with you – and you know it. Name 1 significant contributor who’s going out of their way to defend you/attack me. No, you can’t. Smart people know you’re a petty, immature child with some serious growing up to do.

What’s it like being 26 years of age and still a virgin and only having children……mentally impaired children as friends? Does it make you feel sad? Does it make you feel angry and want to lash out at your betters?

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 4:35 AM
subject: Re: Suicide

I bet you’d be acting very differently if we were face-to-face. It’s all very well thinking you’re the big man hiding behind a computer screen and legions of retarded 8 year olds, you pussy.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 4:42 AM
subject: Re: Suicide

Sad sad little VIRGIN. garry is a cherryboy! CHERRYBOY! CHERRYBOY! CHERRYBOY!

Ahahahahahahhahaha 26 year old CHERRYBOY!

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 4:46 AM
subject: Re: Suicide

It’s interesting how in your pics, you can never see your parents only your sister and your girlfriend jackass. What happened? Did they disown you? They finally couldn’t stomach anymore of your bullshit so they threw you out?
You need to just get in that shitty little renault of yours, and drive off a cliff, do the civilized world a favour.

After about 20 emails of this, I sent him a reply.

I really don’t get what you hope to achieve by sending these emails.
I’m not arguing back. You’re arguing with yourself. If you just
stopped then everything else would stop.

To which I got a few more replies.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 12:49 PM
subject: Re: Suicide

God, you’re a fucking idiot, it’s frightening how dumb you are.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 12:58 PM
subject: Re: Suicide

Contacting your hosting company again.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 1:02 PM
subject: Re: Suicide

Oh and something else you’re forgetting newman, despite you having many many other enemies, I’m the one who’s most recently in everyone else’s mind. Therefore if anything was to happen to you, I would most likely get the blame, exonerated or not at a later point, that is not the issue. So, it’s like you want some other enemy to try and hit back at you or something in the hope that I get the blame. We both lose then, I get the blame and you get whatever….but no, these basic things don’t occur to a primitive myopic childlike mind like yours eh. Fucking cretin, you’re not suitable to own a computer let alone own a forum with 120,000+ members. You’re fucking dangerous.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 1:11 PM
subject: Re: Suicide

So how’s your crappy little iPhone 3G working out? :v:

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 1:17 PM
subject: Re: Suicide

PS I retract my apologies re your sister and grandad. They fucking deserved it.

date: Thu, Jul 17, 2008 at 1:29 PM
subject: Re: Suicide

Anyway, I’m blocking you now. Bye.

date: Fri, Jul 18, 2008 at 10:24 AM
subject: Re: Suicide

Consider yourself unblocked. PS checkout wiremod.com now :D

You think you’re going to get “the last word”? NO, I am going to get the last fucking word you piece of shit. Difference is, “andy1976uk” is a disposable identity, you’ve succeeded in slandering it and making it unviable online, but as I said, disposable. ;)

Is “garry newman, 26 of walsall, england, author of garry’s mod and owner of facepunchstudios.com” a disposable identity? Good luck with your future endeavors Mr newman :) *retreats to the shadows*

LMAO :))

PS try the Prawn Mayonnaise sandwhiches they have at Asda, delicious, I’d be there 24/7 if I had one on my doorstep :P [/friendly tip] ;)

Then after a few more days of similar emails, abuse mixed with paranoia and sometimes completely random civility.. another apology email arrived.

date: Mon, Jul 21, 2008 at 3:12 AM
subject: Apology / FPS / C++ / phones / stuff / forward slashes FTW

Hmmm, this is difficult, but it needs to be said……:/

After re-reading most of that thread with a much cooler head, reviewing my comments in March and having a few days to think about stuff, I’ve concluded a number of things.

Firstly, I want to apologize properly for my remarks back in March, principally about your relatives. The comments were nothing less than grotesque. And when my Mum says “below the belt” she’s not being 100% honest about it, the comments were beneath contempt, and unworthy of even the dirtiest of sewers. I was taking totally excessive “revenge” for something you hadn’t even done. I would let you punch me very hard and not retaliate at all, that’s how bad they were, especially for that time. *ashamed* :((

When you asked, “how long would it take you to forgive and forget” in the RC and I said a few weeks or few months, that was crap, it’d be more like months or a few years. Many of PacificV2 and some of VNL’s analyses were indeed correct, but it’s no excuse.

I saw Pipo’s comment on your blog and it really struck a nerve, but instead of waiting till the morning to ask about it, I needed instant gratification, hid behind 14 beers, assumed it was you and proceeded to act like something from Hell. I should have tried looking at my clock, bit my tongue and concluding you were asleep along with 99% of the rest of the country. My sleep patterns can be pretty unconventional, but it doesn’t mean everyone elses are too.

As for “trojans”, yeah, that was pretty paranoid and about as likely as my neighbours being ETs. I should have just asked you to elaborate on “Find a new hobby. GMod isn’t for you”, instead of instantly thinking the worst. I jump to conclusions far too quickly sometimes, and that was a good example.

You’re also correct in saying Pipo isn’t responsible for my actions. He didn’t force me to write anything.

You might say, “why say anything else and why not just piss off?”, well, you’ve provided me with an immense amount of entertainment and inspiration for 10 measly dollars (worth at least 10x times as much IMO) in the form of GMod, I’ve only know about it for 1.5 years (dirty 07’er :P) but it has had a huge impact on me, besides I haven’t fully acknowledged my role in all this madness, slight apology here or there isn’t enough. I really didn’t like what I was seeing described in those 2 threads and I can do better than that and you deserve better. You could have done much worse than just create 2 threads and that deserves some gratitude and respect.

There’s no ulterior motive either; I don’t want my FPS account back (most likely ever – that nick has way too much baggage) and you don’t need to edit anything in those threads. I’ll just suck it up. Also, true to my word, I won’t create any Alts (as I have actually refrained from doing – andre76, 67erdna etc etc have zero to do with me).
Also, I closed down as many accounts of “that” name as possible, even on Wiremod (it’s not fair that they have to pay for any mess associated with my activities elsewhere). I think there’s just my account on 43things to remove now.

I’d probably never apologize like this to anyone else, even for the same stupidities, but you deserve it. You gave the world GMod.

Anyway, I just wanted to PROPERLY apologize and acknowledge wrongdoing.

PS been seeing the TV ad for the iPhone 3G; pretty sleek I must say, but I’m still getting an XPeria X1 in a few months lol, I just hope I’m not screwed over by Windows Mobile. Still, the iPhone has “multi-touch” touchscreen which I believe is unique in the marketplace and gives the UI quite an edge. Now, something that combines the best of iPhone 3G and X1 would totally rock :P

PPS indeed you are better at C++ than me, I’m so out of practice these days. I noticed you talk about “assert” in your blog, thanks, this is something I really should research.

PPPS I piss off now and never put anything unsolicited in your inbox ever again. Keep up the awesome work :)

Regards,
Andy.

Next time.. things escalate even more. (Part 2 here)

12 thoughts on “Stalkers and Abuse – Part 1

  1. He needs help. I for one wouldn’t read such emails anymore, especially when I know the other person has some issues.

  2. Holy shit! That guy clearly has some actual issues if he’s willing to go that spazz over shit. Don’t take any of the personal shit to heart Garry (think I would struggle not to rage at him over the grandad and suicide stuff). So we’ll done for being the better person. I genuinely do hope Andy gets some help because if he carries on like that, he’s fucked!

  3. He sent you 1500 mails in 2015 alone? He must have a lot of time for this! From the above posted texts it seems most of it comes directly from certain brain circuits (likely intoxicated?) without thinking. But more info is necessary. Thanks for sharing!

  4. I’ve had a similar conversation before, but with a girl. I wonder if Andrew is actually “she”. Either that or he is just mentally ill, no point in talking to him, you would be only doing mental damage to yourself.

  5. This guy clearly needs professional help, especially since it’s almost a decade later and he’s still sending you hundreds of emails a month. He needs his internet revoked and to be put in a mental asylum.

  6. Hey Pipo, welk deel van Nederland kom je vandaan? Ik ben in Utrecht, bent u in de buurt? Als Garry wil niet om u te ontmoeten ik kon, of misschien de 3 van ons zou kunnen ontmoeten en kunnen we een nacht van hebben “HARD ANAAL SEX !!”.

    Rolf.

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