I’ve been enjoying working on Tub. Learning and growing.
Even though it’s kind of my job, I’ve always doubted that I’m a game developer. Just because I don’t feel like I’ve made a real game. I did Facewound when I was in my early 20s, I did Garry’s Mod (which isn’t strictly designed as a game) and I coded a lot of Rust (which Helk designed).
Programming isn’t game design. I have to keep that in my head and try to minimise my focus on it. Yeah it would be nice if I rewrite all these systems, and try this new technology, it’d make me feel like I was achieving something.. but the end user doesn’t see that. If I spend 2 months re-coding a system and the end result is that everything is the same then I’m a cunt, because it doesn’t matter.
So I’ve been trying to push into other things. Things like level design, user interactions, game systems, flow. Things that the player actually touches and experiences. And it’s not easy, but I feel that it’s like anything, you become good at it by doing it. And I want to get better.
I even bought a some game design book. I lost a bit of faith when I started reading one and Garry’s Mod was on page 17. The biggest problem with these books is that they’re so wordy. Like they had to hit a certain word count.
So any recommendations on things to read is appreciated.